tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13849192125900317172024-03-13T19:56:14.520-07:00The Mask DiariesIn The Mask Diaries, I am the Mask and I am the Face as well. Somewhere along the years, the Mask became a part of me, it kept changing colours and yet remained with me; eventually becoming a natural extension of my face. The self conversations are my attempt to separate the Mask from the Face; to see them both as separate beings.Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-67637086700883759652010-03-08T19:57:00.000-08:002010-03-08T19:58:08.670-08:00The Eternal Truth<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Some things never change, some truths remain truths how so ever contradictory they may be to the laws of men and masks. I am a Mask and I am integral to the Man and I know that love is one such truth. The love never changes, it may morph itself in to an irreverent form of emotion - jealousy, revenge, hatred but none of that will ever change the true essence of love. Do not let the masks fool you; do not let the masks that the innocent face might wear fool you. The love shall remain yours forever!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Embrace the innocent face and her masks just as you have embraced your own, let her dance to the music that the Mask plays for her. Beneath the farcical glow of jealousy, fear and insecurity lies the deeply serene love for you. The love that lasts forever; the love that will keep you alive and give you hope. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Accept love as the only truth, the only path to your salvation and the hounds of death will not be near you. Hold my hand as you stand on this precipice today, let the balm of hope soothe the sores of your skin and soul back to youth. The Man and the Mask, together forever living in love..for love.</p>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-62552536786234417032010-03-08T19:30:00.000-08:002010-03-08T19:31:52.458-08:00The Sands of Time<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">The sands run down my closed fist and make no sound, just a deafening roar inside my being. I close my fist harder; trying to hold on to what I wished was mine but always knew that it never was. For years and centuries I have longed to possess, be possessed without ever letting my freedom get away from me, not realizing that contradictions never last. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Yet I have lived in contradictions, shifting my anchor from one base to another; from one face to another. The innocent face has watched me with awe and shock as I have let my life seize control of my time. My dreams no more lure her, my charms no more exude the power of timelessness that I so undeniably possessed. I have for so long feared the advance of age, the withering away of my youthful exuberance that I now feel almost powerless as I see it encroach upon me with the gruesome certainty of death itself. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Oh yes, I feel so dark today!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">The hounds must be lurking in the dark; licking their blood stained lips. The imposing persona of the all conquering man is about to crumble. The cracks in the skin are widening, the time for the redemption of all unanswered curses on his being is upon us all. The Man will finally become mortal again, after centuries of conquest and parallel existences in his dreamy wonderland; he will no longer have another dream to live for; another tomorrow to call upon.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">The sands of time, trickling away..the ground beneath the Man’s feet..sinking.</p>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-62075925500383838882009-05-19T11:22:00.001-07:002009-05-19T11:23:00.393-07:00The Broken Dreams<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">If only I had taken the Mask off my face on that fateful moment when I surrendered my entire being and destiny to the throes of this futile existence; If only I knew that being a man did not mean to simply please all who came but to do as the heart demands; I would not look back at my life with such repugnant disgust. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">How I miss the spark of youth, the ability to rebel and the pleasure of doing the unthinkable!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Today, I stand here soaking the cold breeze of the after storm and I ask myself once again, who is to be blamed for the demise of my dreams? Who is to be blamed for the non-attainability of every beautiful dream I ever saw and still see? My dreams were never mine alone and yet I had to crush them all with my trampling feet and reluctant fist! </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I shall dream more, for in my dreams alone do I still see some hope of survival; farcical as it may seem. Yet, how many more dreams to shatter, how many more hearts to be broken before I finally meet my end. How much longer to go before I get to wipe the tear laden story of my sordid past and write a chapter in my diary which actually does have an end, an end which justifies all the pains that crucify my heart tonight.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">How much longer?</p>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-73023238776390924532009-04-13T10:01:00.000-07:002009-04-13T10:02:45.030-07:00Dreams, for my Love<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">The promises we make as we walk down the fragrant, windswept path of love, the promises to be together forever; the promise to be truthful in love. These are the promises which keep us going, even when the odds seem to be mounting against our eternal union. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU"><o:p>The priceless worth of our dreams, inane and yet so magnificent that I breathe on them every living moment of my life. How I treasure the dreams of being together in the distant future, when time will matter no more and space will be so plentiful that we will bask in it.</o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">“These dreams, will they be futile if they never come true?” asked my innocent face, with a tinge of pain in her velvet voice. A moment of silence as I ponder over my response, my mind relives my past and imagines my future and yet all I see is her, the visions of love that only come alive when I dream of a life with her. “No my love, these dreams are not futile, can never be for these dreams fill us with hope and the desire to live another day. They may never come true, but at the end of this lifetime; I will be a happier man for I had the fortune to dream of you, with you”<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">I dream of you even as I sit here watching the quaint moon spread its sliver across the otherwise darkened sky, just like your love drenches my life in its surreal glow. I dream of the moment when you rested your head on my shoulder, the look of contentment in your eyes, the divine smile which spoke of your realization and at that one moment I felt complete; I felt like a man who desires no more. I dream of holding your hand, when all that touches my skin is the warm, summer night breeze. I dream of kissing you every morning as I wake up, and imagine you sleeping in bliss right next to me – these are my dreams my love; my priceless dreams.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Far away in the land unseen by the prying eyes, I created a little home for us. A little place where I take you with me every time I close my eyes and let my dreams take over. The little, pristine cottage surrounded by flowers and swaying trees where no one but just we go. As the days of my life move on with the never ending dance of the sun, our little cottage in my dreams is the only place where time stands still; where you are forever beautiful and I am forever your man. It is here in the cottage of my dreams that our love defies destiny and finds its fulfilment.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Such is the power of my dreams my love and so I am glad I have them. For as long as I live; I shall dream on for in my dreams you are forever mine; truly and completely.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-18689497937753985952009-04-06T06:00:00.000-07:002009-04-06T06:02:28.702-07:00The Precise Moment of Failure<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">How bizarre!<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">My house has a room with no windows, I cannot look out, cannot stare in to your treacherous eyes that have misled the solemn, loyal Mask who had stood by you during your worse days.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">I do not wish to believe in your new found obsession with truth and love. Why should I anyways, I have lived centuries and millenniums by being the precise antithesis of love and truth, I have mastered the arts of lust and deceit and taught it to many a foolish men like you. I stood unchallenged and unrivalled all these years and I refuse to accept defeat now.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">The young woman called the Mask a cynic the last time I spoke, little does she know that I know men and their failing better then all else, I know exactly what will make your new found notions fall unsubstantiated and I know the exact moment when you shall call upon me to charm the innocent face; yet again.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">How I wait for the fateful day, when I shall repossess your love and show her the charms of lust and deceit once again. Even the innocent face secretly endures your truthful love, for she knows that the treasures of being serenaded by a Mask are many, even though the end is swift. I shall give to her in a few days of ecstasy what you will not conjure in an entire lifetime of truthful love.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">The moment, you ask? Of which precise moment am I speaking of?<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">The moment my slave; when your freedom is breached; when all your secret kingdoms are usurped by the combined entity that your love is creating; when you shall have no private space to call your own and when you no more remain your own man. The precise moment is the moment when your love breaches your independence. Will you then have the courage to spell to her the value of your freedom or will you be weak as you always have been and close your eyes and decide to summon me, the Mask of play along?<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">The men and their failings, so predictable and yet so enigmatic that neither men nor women learn from them. The Mask does and thus the Mask lives on; as you said when we began our dialogue - as a parasite!<br /></p>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-3836745800089031072009-02-22T10:02:00.000-08:002009-02-22T18:47:16.728-08:00The Truthful Love<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">How does one ‘acquire’ love?<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU"><o:p>I do not wish to acquire Love, for love itself means the attainment of self. But since you ask this question Mask; let me tell you that I wish to have nothing in return for this love. My soul erupts in boundless joy every time I see her smile; my heart misses a thousand beats and yet thunders within every time I see the sparkle in her beautiful eyes.</o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">What more can a Man ask for or seek when life in its entirety immerses itself in the million hues of love. I wish to be alive in this new found expression of truth and love today and for ever. In the decades leading up to this moment of truth I have compromised my existence between truth and escapism, love and greed. I have often mistaken love for lust and lust for love and often have I surrendered pregnant happiness to the lure of deceitful Masks.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Not this time my friend, for I stand at the cross roads of my eventful life; I have failed so often that I believed that I will have no more chances; but my destiny runs deep and I have one more chance to resurrect my life and future. My future lies not in acquiring love, but in nurturing it. My destiny beckons me; not to reach out; but to search within and bask in the goodness of the being that only true love can provide.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">How complete I feel when she understands my silence, when she makes me smile even when the dark clouds of uncertainty hover above us. I feel like the Man I was always meant to be when she appreciates me for what I am, with all my failings; never once making me contemplate calling upon the Masks that I always fell back on before I had found love. I have no animosity towards you Mask, but I feel no more need of you; not today or ever for I am now truly in love.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">The innocent Face is what I was always waiting for. With every passing day, the belief strengthens with in me that my life has now touched its core, my cause is complete and I seek no more. I seek not to acquire love for I am blessed with it; my soul is now truthfully embalmed in love. I seek not to acquire love; for no material possession will now be a cause big enough to make me compromise on the most divine possession of all – to be possessed by the love of the innocent Face!<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-23557283842797931312009-02-21T11:54:00.000-08:002009-02-21T11:55:28.295-08:00The Ominous Wait<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">The dance of life on the symphony of love; magnificent, surreal emotions as the man dances with the innocent face. When was the last I saw you in such blissful state, when was the last I saw the truthful smile dance across your face?<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Deep within, even I am happy, even the Mask whom you so deplore this very moment feels happy for the child who has grown up to find the eternal happiness in the arms of the woman he so loves. I am not an evil Mask, I am just truthful to my creation. I play the game I was once summoned upon to play and I mince no emotions as I ensure that your lies remain wrapped under the veil of the Mask.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Even the most arduously impassive of the Masks develop a degree of attachment to the face they cling to; so do I. I feel happy to see you in love today; I admire your desire to love the face with all your childlike passion. Yet as I see you strain towards attaining the love of your life, my thoughts wander towards the once open pages of your life; the times when both you and I had made ourselves and each other believe that you had finally fallen in love. Even then the sweep of love was immense, the pull of desire so dramatic that I had felt left behind in its wake and yet those trysts with love now remain consigned to the backyard of your colourful past. What would you do now that you could not do then? What part of yourself will you be willing to surrender to acquire the elusive love that you had refused to part with then?<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">How much longer before you bring the Mask out; how much longer before the need to hide and conceal and secure your make believe world overtakes the selflessness of love?<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">How much longer before the Man surrenders his hard earned love to the comforts of being led and controlled by the Mask?<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">I shall wait.<br /></p>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-79510303438813401192009-01-26T08:14:00.000-08:002009-01-26T08:16:20.075-08:00To be in Love..<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">The silken rays of the moon play over her svelte skin, creating a beautiful visage. Her hair sways tantalizingly as the last strands of her mane brush past the cold skin of my face. Oh, what immense beauty, what undeniable temptation! I sat watching her dance on the water, so subtle that not even a ripple arose and yet so complete were her movements that my entire being shook with her.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU"><o:p>I believed in love always but never before have had I believed in the hypnotic powers of love, never had I thought that love will make me feel so independent and so complete within. With her I become myself, I say the most inane things and yet she tells me how musical I sound to her. Where was the poet within all these years, where were the profound thoughts, for everything with her speaks of realization, attainment. This is how perfect my love makes me feel.</o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">And her, yes her, she defines happiness. Her smile speaks of a million odes to me, all with the most endearing end. I derive my destiny in making her happy, like a parent pampering his child of immense labour; so do I pamper my innocent face. Every time I see her, I feel the force of a thousand dreams urge me on; asking me to do all that I can possibly do to make her mine for ever. Not even in my worst nightmares will I ever desert her, not even for my dirty alter ego, not for you Mask.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">“Dance on, my lovely innocent face” I said and she ushered me to come towards her, to hold her soft hand. Like a man possessed I held her hands and felt the magical waves of intoxication sweep through my veins as we danced. I remember the look in her eyes; they spoke to me of a far away world where she wanted me to take her; where I would be forever hers without the intrusion of my masks. In unspoken words I promised her that we would find the far away world, before it becomes too late for us, before the time runs out. My mind wandered to the imposing challenges that lie in front of me, if I am to fulfil my promise and as if on a clue, she touched my face, her fingers caressing my creased forehead, my dry lips. How magical was the moment when our eyes closed, as if to forever lock the unspoken promise deep within us and then our lips closed in, the gentle fragrance of her warm breath, the flickering touch of her lips against mine and then the moment when I submerged within her.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">As I lie panting on my bed on this moonlit night my mind recollects in precise details the first kiss, the first embrace, the first surrender to the mutual desire and the igniting of the passions inside me. My heart tells me aloud, this perhaps, is just the beginning of my liberation, the initiation of my new life; where the masks are consigned to the never to be opened shelves of memory.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">How wonderful it is, to be in love!<br /></p>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-12691639781063241442009-01-10T23:51:00.000-08:002009-01-10T23:59:56.353-08:00The Ignorant Face<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeIgx0rReXRkLrpgug7xdAiqo73SHJFPpoPgTtSKSsGjh8vDv_IA5kzzUK41IxdsGtE88trsaoz_8MXZeEiZamCIJ6-X2OcKxoz93OkBPTgwaJ-ZgXa8PgfVNdg48XuK5nPiXkgDllR7EO/s1600-h/ignorant+facejpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 130px; height: 122px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeIgx0rReXRkLrpgug7xdAiqo73SHJFPpoPgTtSKSsGjh8vDv_IA5kzzUK41IxdsGtE88trsaoz_8MXZeEiZamCIJ6-X2OcKxoz93OkBPTgwaJ-ZgXa8PgfVNdg48XuK5nPiXkgDllR7EO/s320/ignorant+facejpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5289942587148724994" /></a><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">The perfect delirium of nascent love<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">When the man meets the innocent face<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">The surge of love, hope and lust<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">Hah! The perfectly ignorant race!<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU"><o:p>The mistaken bonds to eternity</o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">The false love, devoid of grace,<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">Must the man be so insolent?<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">That death, must he embrace!<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">I go where you go, I shall always be around visible or in hiding and so I was with you when you walked holding the hand of the innocent face. I heard the utterly romance laden conversation you had with her; I felt too, the warmth of your skins permeating.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Now if you think that I would be burning in the hellfire of jealousy, then I must tell you that you are wrong. Do you recollect the sudden uncalled for surge of lust as she came close to you? Do you recollect shunning the thoughts of hiding bitter truths from her as she asked you about the life that you have lived?<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Indeed you do, you are aware that it was me, your friendly Mask urging on the lust and the lies with in you. Yesterday as you shared a beautiful picture of a life together with her, you were fighting a constant battle with in, a battle to curb your own Mask. You succeeded my friend, you did keep me unfulfilled yesterday, but do I have to remind you of the worthlessness of fighting such a battle? Must I tell you that the Mask does not accept defeat? My persistence at being around and active in your life will eventually see you breaking down. The temptations that I create, the ones we spoke about very early in our dialogues will eventually be too grand and seductive for you to resist.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">That is indeed the way I scale my battles, by grinding your weak desire to be truthful and honest against the imposing castles of temptations that I create. Remember my friend, that I am the thousand headed monster you used to dread as a child, I fear not losing a head to your vain conquests, neither a few more for I am indestructible. I shall keep coming back, keep asking you questions, keep denouncing your false chivalry and break you down bit by bit till you give in completely, till the day you surrender your love for the innocent face to the lust of the Mask.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Oh my dear face, do not hate me for conspiring to take your love away from you. I am but after all your friend; I seek to help you find happiness and contentment too. I just know that you are ignorant; you know not what is good for you anymore. Love the innocent face as much as you wish to, but do remember, the Mask will eventually take over, the lust and greed will eventually conquer the deceptive notion of lifelong love. Remember all of this, for when the heart breaks; it is only the Mask that keeps you alive with hope. When the innocent face is gone as it must, it will be the Mask again; who shall find you yet another face to fall in love with.<br /></p>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-4635592143945586792009-01-08T10:21:00.001-08:002009-01-08T10:27:45.318-08:00The Perfect Day<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">I sat watching her today; as she spoke about her life. She told me in many beautiful words how she has waited to find me and now that she has; how her life’s journey nears its destination. Is it just me or does she actually create magic when she speaks? How does she know exactly which words will warm my heart and set my pulse racing? <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU"><o:p>“Tell me what you wish your love to do for you” I asked her.</o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">“I wish love to make me feel beautiful even as I wake up every morning and to make me feel cherished as I close my eyes every night. I wish love will give me a reason to smile with fondness as I wait for every tomorrow to come”. How true are her words; how rich with purity and simplicity of thought and desire.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">As we walked down the paved path surrounded by lush green trees swaying gently to the gentle winter breeze, my fingers reached out for hers; a moment of uncertainty and then the effervescent touch; the clasping of fingers. Our hands gently locked in; the warmth permeating from my skin to hers and back to mine; how simple and divine can love be; how pervasive.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">I confess I did not have such a plan – not today and not in life. I know and my Mask does what I intended to do with her after I had serenaded her. I intended to make her fall in love with me, enamour her and then let the Mask feast on the innocent face. But yet, as I walk down this garden path with her today, nothing seems more perfect. The dilemma to choose the innocent face over the Mask seems redundant as the waves of love sweep over me.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">“I have not had a more beautiful day in a long time”<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">“Neither have I” I said. “You remind me of the young man I once was, so full of inane romantic ideas about how I would spend a day with the woman I would truly love”. The idleness of the day adds such metaphoric beauty to our togetherness, the idle day adding up to a simple life of togetherness, when neither of us will have nowhere else to go and nothing more significant to do other then to be holding hands and smiling together.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">How beautiful this day is, how replete with the perfection of life! On days like these I wish to tear the Mask off my face for good, for I have everything that I ever aspire for. Yet, as I aspire to do the unthinkable, I realize that the Mask hides the skeletons of my past beneath it and the moment I tear it off, I will become naked in front of the world and in front of the innocent face. From one dilemma to another, my life which a moment back seemed so perfect swivels back in to the realm of insecurities. How does a face, who once wore a Mask, ever reveal its true self to the world again? How does the truth prevail again?<br /></p>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-89796782158889100572009-01-06T08:58:00.000-08:002009-01-06T09:01:16.101-08:00The Trap<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">The stinging pain in my heart, the stabbing of a thousand daggers; when I saw you; the incomplete, imbecile man speak in your uncouth language to my innocent face!<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU"><o:p>If it was not for her unfounded desire to love the man and not a Mask, I would have had no further use of you. But she is as naïve as you were before you met me, she knows little of the unbound powers the Mask beholds; the treasure that only the Mask can offer to her. I wait impatiently for the day when she will be conclusively in love with me, when she will surrender her soul to the Mask and then she will become my own, another Mask herself.</o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">My heart writhes in fires of jealous rage, I can not help it. I seethe with anger when I see her willingly being serenaded by you. Does she not know what your smile hides? Does she not know that the love that she assumes is in fact the naked lust that you conceal with in you? My Innocent face, she was born only to be mine, only to talk to me, only to be in my possession and yet she teases me with her wanton ways. If only she knew that with each advance that she allows you to make towards her; she strengthens my resolve to acquire her, with each submission my determination to one day hold her captive in the dungeons of my desire.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Yet as I see her lovely eyes, I get reminded of the forgotten path of righteousness. Little does she know that the trap of love is unrelenting. Many have treaded it before, only a few succeeded. The only hope of survival that she retains is to get either the man or the forlorn Mask to fall in love with her. I must help her survive, such divine beauty; she deserves to live long. She must be loved with unyielding passion for the innocent face must remain alive for generations to come. The generations of hideous Masks will bow in gratitude to me for having kept the innocent face alive and yet never allowing her to find fulfilment in love; such intoxicating thirst and emptiness must I create in her life.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Here I sit today waiting patiently for the fruition of my love, as she walks by you on this cold fogy morning. My mind reflects on the many charms that I have woven for you in the past as you have savoured the joys of love before. In my fantasies; I pamper her, treat her like a high priestess and an adorable princess; I do for her what only a mad man would do in all earnestness. Oh, how eager I am, how completely in the grip of desire! This time my dear face, this time I must create a grand image of love which surpasses all the previous charades that we together created.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Of such immense magnitude will be the romance in the life of the Mask; who dared to fall in love! <br /></p>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-66125760106470241572009-01-03T03:59:00.001-08:002009-01-03T04:02:51.759-08:00The Rendezvous<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">It was with much reluctance that I agreed to let myself be used as a carrier for your unholy carnal desires to seduce the innocent face. Yet, as with every time my eyes set upon a face of such divine beauty, my heart skipped a beat as I saw her walk towards me this foggy morning. Her hair moved in tandem with the music of her steps, her smile so effervescent and her eyes that shone like the most sparkling star in the northern sky. Here indeed was an innocent face that could trigger the chain of consciousness even in the dormant heart and soul of my beloved Mask. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU"><o:p>Much as I deplore you for designing to feign love for her, I understand your urge to possess her. She appears to be so distant, so unattainable and hence so desirable; I know precisely why my Mask craves for her; for the perfection of it all!</o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">How ironical that she was walking out of the fog, the mysterious pall of mist and yet walking in to another blinding fog of treacherous love and deceit. How cruel, oh, how cruel of you to even conceive loving her. My compulsive mind searched for the first smile, the first words of acquaintance on which I will build the magnificent façade of love for you my dear Mask. The churning grip around my heart strangled me by the moment as she got closer, till she was right beside me and I could feel her fragrant self.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">The moment of our first intimacy came and went like a pregnant breath, here this moment and yet gone. Thus I could breathe again, the circle of love had started, the first point from where the entire life of the innocent face would no more remain the same had been dotted and I felt the leap of joy in your love struck heart Mask for you now knew that you would transcend the barrier that most Masks exist within.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Yet with in my own deepness I reflect back upon the acts that I have committed, the sins my existence is over burdened with. Is this the beginning of my end? Is this where I cease to exist and only the Mask lives my life? I search for answers within even as I now look deep in to the abyss of deceit and debauchery. My mind wanders to the young man I once was who stood for timeless love and yet never found it. How I miss the cold foggy morning when I had first seen the innocent face that I had fallen in love with. How surreal and musical that morning was and how scripted is this morning; when I vow to help my Mask attain the love of this innocent face.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Such a deep abyss, such a slithery fall, my feet feel helpless as I begin to slide. I close my eyes, fearing the pain of the fall and yet as my eyes close; I see the innocent face, the one you fell in love with, the one with the effervescent smile and the bright eyes and I feel that I am no more falling. The innocent face is all I see. The circle of love, has indeed begun, the one that never ends!<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">The Face</span></p>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-68890433647044484172009-01-02T09:28:00.000-08:002009-01-02T09:34:27.270-08:00The Night of Darkness<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpqtzqqo-NVG-kPiGFjCa8Qc7opmdeX7PoPdUy3EkdjeON8NjwpSUiIyFytWs8fBqYtNfgZBL8V_OQ_hjPgKj1sBTcq8-kSMTLlgVSQgeQ0p7PTViZhpzMeUnwa5_EgXKLPyUROPgTwUcy/s1600-h/056_Suspended_Animation.jpg" style="text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><br /></span><img style="text-decoration: underline;display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px; " src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpqtzqqo-NVG-kPiGFjCa8Qc7opmdeX7PoPdUy3EkdjeON8NjwpSUiIyFytWs8fBqYtNfgZBL8V_OQ_hjPgKj1sBTcq8-kSMTLlgVSQgeQ0p7PTViZhpzMeUnwa5_EgXKLPyUROPgTwUcy/s320/056_Suspended_Animation.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5286749997978093074" /></a><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">The innocent eyes shine like an emerald<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">In all my dreams and my solitary world<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">Yearn as I do in this ever elusive maze<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">For you my love, the one of innocent face!<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><br /></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU"><o:p>You heard that? Did you hear the lonely call of my heart? Oh, how I yearn for a touch, for a gaze, for a kiss! How I love serenading her, seducing her with my words! Last night, I saw the glimmer in her eyes, as I took her on the ecstatic trip of my new creation; the new world that I created for us. The queen of my heart, my precious innocent face!</o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">She wanted to surrender herself to my charms; but not just yet. The time is not upon us; the night is still lit with the blinding glory of the full moon. Yes my love, my innocent face; you shall be mine and I shall take you unto me on a night of darkness when all kindness sleeps and the hell rises!<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">The Mask</span></p>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-86181632504297710002009-01-01T05:52:00.000-08:002009-01-01T06:24:12.766-08:00The Circle of Love<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">When I look at the innocent face, the hither to unrecognizable soul within me cringes for affection. The face talks to me like nothing else has done thus far, not even you. For years I have felt the need to serve your macabre desires and work like a lifeless Mask. But yet, I never felt content and then came along the innocent face with all its naiveties and charming beauty and I felt as if I have a purpose I wish to build my own life upon. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">You tell me that I am born to a lie, but how long a punishment for being born to an illicit union? Have I not washed my sins with blood and have I not earned the right to feel loved? I wish to love and feel the glorious halo around me; I wish to love even if the life of my love is short lived. I wish to love for my own sake and not for the innocent face; for her destiny is already written and cast in stone. If she is destined to find pain through the unattainable love of a Mask then so must be done for the sake of natural justice.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Is this your insecurity that you are hiding under the Mask of humane concern for the innocent face? Since when did you start concerning yourself with the pain of others? I have silently observed you play the game of love for so long, for a lifetime now and I have learnt the dance from you. It’s my turn to take to the floor now and in the deft movements of words and deeds; I wish to create an opera of romance for myself.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Oh, the look in her eyes, the longing in her words; I see so apparently that she desires me and not you. You hold no interest for her with your unmistakably human failings. It is me she is looking for, with the intensely adventurous streak and the pull of the unknown. I denounce the definition of love as you pronounce it; love is nothing else but a series of moments when two individuals wish to stay together, pulled together by the common thread of lust, desire and the need to be oblivious of all else besides them. I wish not to join her in her own world, I wish not to even possess her; my wish is to create a new world even if it is a world of make believe where the innocent face blissfully feels loved by a Mask who has himself lived unloved for a timeless period.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">I must ask you to resist being cruel for once. I ask you to let me take over the living moments of your life for such time my make believe world would last and sleep unmoved. If the Mask can not love forever then so be it, but the Mask can love. For every innocence that is lost to a Mask; a new one is born and such is the game of life which has continued unhindered forever. So do not fear for the world, nor for the innocence; for when I am done with love you shall still have plenty of life to live of your own – with or without the Mask. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">The Mask</p>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-26338483129927315862008-12-31T02:04:00.000-08:002009-01-01T06:03:11.777-08:00The Answer<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">What does a Mask know of love? What does he know of the emotion so pristine that even I shudder at the mere thought of falling in love again? I shudder for I know that love is all pervasive, it takes over your life in a way not even a success laden mask can. It shakes your entire being and makes you an all together different man – a man they say is in love.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU"><o:p>Oh, how the lines vanish when you are in love!</o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">The line between sanity and insanity; between how much of yourself you wish to keep and how much you want to give up and the line between dreams and reality. Are you ready to give up your manipulative, scheming mind as a price for one successful lustful reverie with the face that you speak of? Will you embrace the innocent face and surrender your soul to unite with her in the world that she exists in?<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">If you answer in yes, then indeed, the Mask can fall in love.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">But here is the bitter truth, the Mask is forever a Mask, it does not exist outside a make believe world of faked happiness and unfulfilled desires. A Mask is always an after thought, never an unbridled surrender to heart felt wishes; a Mask is born to a lie, love is the eternal truth. So my dear Mask, fall in love if you must, but you can not love; for you are incapable of loving back. Masks serve to survive and not to spread happiness and that is the rationale of your existence. At some point in your life, you must betray the innocence to keep the Mask alive.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">I fear for the innocent face though, for after the Mask is done with loving her and the ground beneath her tender feet turns in to a deathly marshland, the innocence would have died and yet another beast would be born; a beast who herself will wear the Masks that I now wear and the circle of life would continue uninterrupted.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">I do not write destinies, least of all your destiny Mask, but I do think of the day when all innocence is gone from our lives! Think of the day when all our Masks have usurped all the innocent faces and what we are left with is a hideous congregation of single faceted Masks. The Masks who lie, cheat and deceive; but alas, there is no one left to lie to, to deceive and to cheat!<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Such will be the state of the world where Masks fall in love and thus we will all exist in a void world free of love, happiness and dreams.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">The Face</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><br /></p>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-83653200560825838562008-12-28T09:29:00.000-08:002008-12-28T09:31:15.658-08:00Question?<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">I am enamoured, I am enticed by the beautiful face.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">The face is all I keep seeing, in my vivid dreams and imaginations and even as you warn me against the vicious addiction; I keep conjuring lustful reveries with the face.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Oh, such a beautiful, innocent face!<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Tell me, pray, tell me now:<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Why can’t a Mask fall in love?<br /></p>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-43754321341241036482008-12-25T09:13:00.000-08:002009-01-01T06:04:23.953-08:00The Union: I am myself and I am the Mask<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">What if I ever were my own man?<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU"><o:p>I sit alone, wondering; what if I did not have a Mask? Would I be any more or less of a man then I am today? Would my triumphs or travails be any less pronounced? Much as I like you Mask and much as I am now mortally dependant upon you; I still sometimes long for independence. I do wish to live a day in the life of the protagonist who never wore a Mask.</o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Such a day would begin with divine emptiness perhaps, for their will be not much to think and plan for. Such a day will wear on amidst vast luxuriousness of a forsaken wasteland and will end with no sense of gain or loss; for today would be no different from yesterday and nor will tomorrow bring more hope.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">That is how I would be without my Mask, without my omnipresent friend.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">I have made my choice, I have acknowledged the fact that no person on this land lives without a Mask. Many deny the existence, scoff at the dependence; but such is the extent of ignorance that even as they raise the rhetoric in denial they do not realize that it is the Mask of false bravado who speaks for them that very moment!<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">As more people read our letters, the more they feel intrigued, somewhat uncertain. People now wish to know who they are talking to when they are with ‘me’. I believe it is natural impulse, to know if they are being manipulated, lied to. This is not what I wish to do; I do not wish to raise insecurities. I just wish to talk and tell myself and others about the Masks that we wear. The Mask that I wear with people is forever the person I am; once they have known me and my Mask, they will forever talk to both of us; together.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">The introvert me, with the extrovert Mask; the ambitious me, with the laidback Mask; the docile me; with the beastly Mask. Together we make for a complete package of sorts, as you complete me; you help me complete relationships. You are the missing piece in my quest for a perfect self and if you help me complete the puzzle of my life, you must be good for those who love me and seek happiness through me.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">I worry no more about the shadows of my past; I believe my destiny is firmly in place. The churn has to now happen and much baggage needs to be left behind. People and memories who have outlived their relevance in my life need to be left behind with respect or neglect and new chapters now need to be added.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>With this churn must also go some of the Masks which have no more use for me. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">As a new life begins, the great sense of acceptance warms my heart. This morning, like the others in recent past, I forced myself to smile and sing songs when I woke up. I know it is you who smiles and sings for me; but I do not complain for the song lives in my heart all day long and the smile lingers on.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">A small surrender made to find happiness with in!<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">The Face</span></p>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-38778511935512385902008-12-24T01:50:00.000-08:002009-01-01T06:04:59.465-08:00The Beast<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2jJrrprMGhhklSVdeStvCXXtbrIqCKqr7gtWt1Nm1Zkf0ocXEhaOALqmtXaYPv6cxziOVDgSpNwe_yzVrDqMp7j6iT2hkYysaibT-NzmRiQ6MbaUouzhgu9OXIfrsloJQ3CaVZGPKQl_-/s1600-h/The_Beast_Vision_by_Diamondus.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2jJrrprMGhhklSVdeStvCXXtbrIqCKqr7gtWt1Nm1Zkf0ocXEhaOALqmtXaYPv6cxziOVDgSpNwe_yzVrDqMp7j6iT2hkYysaibT-NzmRiQ6MbaUouzhgu9OXIfrsloJQ3CaVZGPKQl_-/s320/The_Beast_Vision_by_Diamondus.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5283293565378491570" /></a><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">Such a long period of hibernation!<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU"><o:p>But we did not sleep, did we? It’s been a perilously difficult journey in these past few months. Even I feel tired and drained; I wonder how you must be feeling! But this is not the time to stop and reflect, this is the time to walk faster, for the time of reckoning is closer then ever. Have you not felt it? Have you not felt the shadows of your past creeping up upon you?</o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Oh, how the shadows fill you with fear!<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">For years we have ran together, causing the heist and then escaping in to nothingness, only to emerge when the noise turns in to din to cause another crime. For years we have laughed at the naivety of our victims and now when the sun of your life has gone over and past your head, the shadows are beginning to lengthen.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">But here is what I tell you my friend, you must not fear, you must not give in and bury your proud head in the sands; for you have me. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>You have your ever loyal Mask, the one who never got defeated, the one who has lived inside you and helped you escape every time. So this is what we do now, in the time of crisis – we evolve in to our best, most ambitious form ever and take the shadows of the past head on. We must not hesitate from lying if we have to and speak the ugly truth even if it kills them. We must create a wholly fantastic illusion to deceive those who now wish to catch us off guard.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">What do you stand to lose when you have nothing? What do you fear for when death is not an enemy? What do you yearn for when all the love that you ever had has already been lost? The freefall of stairs and the leap off the cliff has already happened to you, in your sub-conscious mind you have lived through the most traumatic pain. Now is when you start laughing with abandon. For years I have yearned to see a truly happy YOU! Now is the time when you should repay my efforts and surrender your soul to the attainment of the ultimate goal – realization of self. I wish to see you living for yourself, finding happiness within, finding happiness in others and moving on and ahead when others suck the happiness from you.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Oh, what immense joy in just the expression of a desire - The desire to live for self! Imagine a life time spent in the pursuit and attainment of this desire, how wholesome and gratifying! Now my friend, tell me how you feel, does the weight on your shoulders still weigh you down or do the sparkling possibilities of a life fill you with the child like energy that you once possessed? Tell me who you see in the distance, see with your eyes and tell me where we should head to.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">On this cold wintery evening when the sky looks gloomy, pull the sun out of its hiding and place it right above your head. The beast is coming back to life, with the unbound force of passion and desire that lay dormant for years. Yes, bring the beast back to life, let life run through the veins of our tired existence once again and let’s call for a toast.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Here’s to a life without shadows and a life full of happiness!<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">The Mask</span></p>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-71934430919025250632008-10-08T03:28:00.000-07:002009-01-01T06:12:26.925-08:00The Journey Begins<p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><div style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 3px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 3px; width: auto; font: normal normal normal 100%/normal Georgia, serif; text-align: left; "><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: justify; "></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU">With peace upon us, we can afford to go out for a walk. Let’s let the cool evening breeze coming off the ocean balm and soothe out tired soul. It may perhaps appear as a denial of my earlier exhortations against your tirade, but I was actually appreciating this conversation we were having. Not many people want to talk to me these days; I don’t want to talk to many people either. So it’s only good that we stay together and talk. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span lang="EN-AU" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-AU"><o:p>You had mentioned that you can acquire different shapes and forms on my calling. It fascinates me, without an existence made up of a mass; you can form and deform yourself. Does the person sitting next to me, unaware of my masks wear them himself? Does the friend, the one of the ever compassionate persona, the loving heart; wear them too? How trust worthy are you Mask, how trust worthy are the others of your progeny? Do you fight and kill each other just as we humans do? Do you feel the pangs of jealousy, the lust for power, the greed for possession just as we do?</o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Many questions I have for you Mask and we have a whole lifetime full of unending dark nights to us, when it will be just you and me; the Master and the Slave; the Slave and the Master. Answer all my questions, question my intent, lets plan, scheme, dream and maraud our way through this world full of vulnerability and cruelty. You said we are one, let us indeed become one, baring ourselves in front of each other, I do not fear the pain in front of you so tear yourself off my skin and let me see you in front of me and then finally, as the dawn comes, I will neither be the face, nor the mask. I will be myself.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Let me for once see the world through your eyes; let me see its invisible, hidden colours; the colours behind the Masks that people like me wear. I feel a wave of lust and power sweep over me Mask, just the thought of undressing people, anywhere and anytime is so gratifying. I will undress them; you will help me do that.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Now Mask, now, lets start our journey in the world of Faces and Masks. Let’s start knowing the truth, uncovering the secrets and finding the answers that were for so long hidden away from me that I was made to feel guilty for my ignorance.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">I am so glad I have you Mask, I do not want to die anymore, not just yet.<br /></p><p></p></div></span></p>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-90115926780477220532008-03-27T07:44:00.000-07:002008-12-25T09:21:03.343-08:00The Mask, Olives and Dreams<div style="text-align: justify;">I hate olives; I hate the way olives smell and taste. I have no clue why the enlightened souls trust olive branches to work towards peace and harmony. But yet, for the sake keeping our union intact, I will offer this little branch of olive to you my friend. Accept it and let’s move on, it is a beautiful life after all.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Do not look at me like that, I am in a serene mood now, I will tell you about all the nice things we innocently committed ourselves to in the past and do not forget about the promises the future holds. Do I give you a hard time when you weigh me down with all your dreams, unfulfilled most of them? I am so diligent, I love you so much and I work tirelessly to make your dreams come true. It was such fun when you were a kid; your dreams went beyond the borders of practical truism. I particularly love that one dream of yours, you secretly wanting to command your very own space ship, replete with secret gadgets. You’d go zipping through the vacuum around the million stars, often alone, often leading a crew made up of your one time friends; now servants. You even created a whole new language of the space ship captain; I spoke it for you. Your parents were not so pleased though most of the times I’d speak in the alien language to them. They did seriously consider grounding your ship.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I still sometimes hear the secret language reverberate inside our common brain, it still tells me a few things and it still tells me that the kid wants to be born again. The kid was so happy, he was happy with in himself, by himself; he did not need the parents or teachers or friends most of the times. The kid spoke to himself, like the man speaks to himself right now. Is it the alien language we are talking in right now? We fought and cursed each other and now I smile back at you, nursing your wounds, there were times in the last few days when it became intolerably loud and yet we kept the dialogue with in. So it must be our secret language. Let’s keep talking.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Let’s go back to our space ship; could we? Life was so much better there. Our ship, our language and just the two of us. We can go where ever we want to go, meet the people we want to meet. I hate it when people put you under stress; I miss my happy little kid, who’d dream of distant stars and his place amongst them. For a few days in our entire life, let us be alone and watch the world go further away from us. We will talk amongst ourselves and make plans to make all your dreams come true.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I promise I will do my best to make you happy, I am a good Mask.<br /></div>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-18562489269388755382008-03-13T04:46:00.000-07:002008-03-13T04:57:50.805-07:00The Face Dreams<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8JHTSG69i7svqvCbZrYFQME_Yx8pqMS4ob1WW0grv_JyKcYcfFU6Br6OD3zLut9_STMBIXtUdYaCl5GsujBoDjOA6Z0VKI_q7tYOhnB2KktFMi8ZYGwt_lz3Q7dYFuxKNc5F6sIIR6zwk/s1600-h/DreamCatcher.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5177193871980251042" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" height="176" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8JHTSG69i7svqvCbZrYFQME_Yx8pqMS4ob1WW0grv_JyKcYcfFU6Br6OD3zLut9_STMBIXtUdYaCl5GsujBoDjOA6Z0VKI_q7tYOhnB2KktFMi8ZYGwt_lz3Q7dYFuxKNc5F6sIIR6zwk/s320/DreamCatcher.jpg" width="320" border="0" /></a><br /><div align="center">The Dream Catcher<br /></div><div align="justify">I was quiet for a few days, it felt nice to be sitting and breathing bare, uncluttered. It helped that I cried myself hoarse, dried the toxic tears of loneliness. I must not be too hard on myself; I can not let you have your sadistic, masochistic pleasures. I am a splendid man Mask, I learnt and evolved and ruled the world the way I wanted. I conquered my fears and I learnt to live and conceal my weaknesses. You caught me on a weak footing for a while, didn’t you? But alas my friend, that’s about as far as you go, I am standing up again, with or without you.<br /><br />I was reflecting Mask, reflecting on the skills that I possess and you don’t. I said to myself, there must be a power that I have which you can only look up to and aspire for longingly. I do have that power, the power to dream, to imagine and to fantasise; do you have that too? Not that I am aware of. I have created worlds and empires out of my dreams. My dreams have launched a thousand inventions, out of which you are but just one. I dream of owning power and authority, I dream of happiness and of lust; such fantastic dreams.<br /><br />You can only look in a straight line Mask, up ahead, you can scheme and manipulate, but it is me and my dreams that feed you. I fed you then and I feed you now and so it will continue. Deny as much as you can, we will thrive in co-existence; you will never find a man as full of rationality and mysticism as I am. </div><div align="justify"><br />I was a dreamer when I was a child. I used to dream of climbing high mountai<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSgaAohjKsBZkaHp9cjaCAFc-LRmbBBoaLByVK0Bxkmo0Ze73KWHwAhFHv1xyAjQqyi3QmU8EIP57ptJQJRXzVRJ1tT959Ed-fpXGSucayMGUrRnYDwxKloFc3DuaSZJ62WChUllH3dUBZ/s1600-h/DreamCatcher.jpg"></a>ns and wrestling with giant beasts with my bare hands. I also had dreams of living in a space ship, visiting unseen lands in the corners of our universe. I needed no mask to fulfil those dreams of mine; I knew no mask could help me fulfil those dreams. I kept accumulating those dreams, kept stacking them up one on top of another, carefully, so as not to ruffle them and cause the smallest of tear in the beautiful fabric of my dreams. Soon, I had a stock pile so high that it went higher then the highest mountains. I kept dreaming, I wanted to fly and I wanted to own the largest, the most fierce gun ever made. Where were you when I was living my life with my dreams Mask, you were consigned to handle the more mundane, irrelevant tasks of my life. You are right, I made you do the dirty jobs, where as I was finding bliss in my dreams.<br /><br />For all these years, while you kept sucking on my life blood, I was working in the background, creating a whole new world; the world of my dreams. I never even mentioned this to you Mask, you never deserved to know. I own that world Mask, I am the lord of it, and my dreams are my subjects. The dreams are and will stay true to me, I give them the shape I want, I can kill a dream when it stops to please me and my dreams will die and will be buried with me. My dear humble servants, they will serve me again in my after life. Who knows, I may dream of a beautiful after life as well.<br /><br />Mask, if only you knew how to dream. You are so afraid of death, you try so hard to cling on to your false existence; if only you could dream with me, we could have made this life, a dream come true. </div>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-68518891880496452142008-03-09T23:27:00.000-07:002008-12-25T09:22:09.699-08:00The Mask Explains<div style="text-align: justify;">My righteous friend, I see you are in a vengeful mood. You are also in a confessional mood. I like that too, I like the fact that you have the courage to sound like a man sometimes. Please do understand that I am not an evil Mask, I had told you that I am just a Mask. Also remember that you are not a victim, you chose to hand over the threads of your life to me and chose to become a spectator in this game. So please do not repent now, too late for the tears.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I am willing to talk, I am willing to explain since I do not want you to writhe in pain and lie uneasy in your grave. Unlike you, I was not born out of an atom or a cell or flesh and bones. I was always there, existing like the whiff of air, weightless and yet so pervasive that I existed even before men and women came in to being. So now that you know of my plans for you, you must acknowledge that you are not alone; I lived inside another soul before I entered you and another and many more. So take comfort in the pains of mankind if that helps. I can not die with you, because I am no more just a part of you, I am your soul.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I love children; I love the innocence and the brightness they bring about in this universe. I can not see a more powerful physical force hurt them, so I reach out to help them. How important was it for your parents, your teachers and your well wishers to educate you to stand up for yourself. It was your weakness that forced me to house myself with in you. Addiction, they say, is bad. You should have heard it earlier, you should have said “Thankyou Mask, I am fine now and I have learnt my lesson and I will live my life on my own now”. But alas, you took the short way out; you saw value in using me even beyond you needed me. That was your greed, your insecurities and I simply obliged.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">You were a sweet little boy my friend. You used to fear making new friends, for the fear of rejection. You used to hold a cricket bat in your little hands, shaking in your shoes as the hard leather ball was hurled your way and yet you wanted to be the best sportsman around. You wanted to prove to no one and everyone that you were the real deal and you used to nearly close your eyes as the hard red ball came whizzing, sucking you in. Then one day, the hard red ball hit you so hard, you bled and you cried all day long. Remember that day, I was not a part of you then, I was a silent spectator. Your courage left you that day, flowing out in spurts together with the blood out of your mouth. I wish you had known how separate blood from spirit, you did not. You wanted to play again, but you were too scared and then you called the little kids, much more harmless then you were then to play with you. As you called them to play with you, you called me too and I came. What a wonderful time we had with the little boys, you hit them all around the ground, you laughed and you thought that you had become the hero then. I laughed too, because I was inside you and I was your mask of bravery.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">How then, my friend, can you blame me? I was just doing the service I was asked to do. I stayed true to my existence, you flinched. I was willing to go, you were reluctant. Power, usurps common sense as it did with you. Between now and then, I have seen you rise with a thousand sunrises and yet you never had the courage to look at the mirror and ignite your own being. Tell me my friend, what more could have I done for you?<br /></div>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-9589688881741417262008-03-09T03:22:00.000-07:002008-12-25T09:22:54.747-08:00The Child Who Wore the Mask<div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihjC-ptCzmZig9pegcQ1GqWQCrxwLkwv9xc018F4-LUD42b-CNxxWD7irjYkfnjfnt74R40GmVPVGGIoXuypiVV6Sg96qj8DzdbbWTJYenj5xtX32UKzJnInWomOwgSrJHGbHf4ZaLV4-H/s1600-h/Alter+Ego.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5175686007746873202" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 101px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 162px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" height="147" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihjC-ptCzmZig9pegcQ1GqWQCrxwLkwv9xc018F4-LUD42b-CNxxWD7irjYkfnjfnt74R40GmVPVGGIoXuypiVV6Sg96qj8DzdbbWTJYenj5xtX32UKzJnInWomOwgSrJHGbHf4ZaLV4-H/s320/Alter+Ego.jpg" width="101" border="0" /></a> 'Alter Ego' by Val Byrne'<br /><br /><p align="left"></p><div style="text-align: justify;">I heard what you told me yesterday Mask. I heard every word of it and now those words haunt me, crawl inside me like a cancer that you yourself confess to have become. I thought of you as a child, a selfless, loving being who respected my hospitality and here you are, wishing me to die, with no self respect left in the world. You are a parasite Mask, you are more selfish then I ever was, you did more harm to me then I did to you and now you wish exploit my decayed mass. I am appalled.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">That fateful morning outside the school gate when I stood rooted to the ground with fear, I was not the dieing old man you see now, I was a little child. I stood exposed to all the evilness that abounds this world. I had closed my eyes and my heart had refused to beat and then with the inherent primal instinct I gave birth to you. The child was innocent, can’t you see that? The child was abused and yet he wanted to live. The child did not know that what he gave birth to was his adulterous alter ego. You abused my spirit just as you created the façade of saving my body. Day by day, with each reducing breath, you made sure that the child got addicted to your charms, to the mirage you created.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It was never me who asked you to lie, you know I was hypnotized. It was never me who was drinking off the cup of success and glory. I was always the one doing all the introspection, fighting for survival against the odds you kept on stacking up against me. The more I fought, more were the beautiful lies that you created for me, the never ending, ever expanding wave of intoxication.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I am a selfish yet righteous man; I want all the happiness in the world. I want it all because I have worked hard for it, I deserve it. You were not just discovered in a corner of my soul, I invented you. I gave birth to you, nursed you day by day and fed you off my own blood and spirit. You are a part of me Mask and what is a part of me must die with me. You must die with me. If I owe you all that I have, like you had said, you owe me your existence. Let me at least die in peace with my pride intact.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I am crying now Mask and I can feel you smiling, happy as you said feeling my tears satiate your skin. I must speak the truth too, since you finally did as well. I will not die today Mask, I died as a child all those years back. My innocence and goodness was my soul and you tore it to shreds, I died then. I am now waiting to be buried and be born again as a child, with the hope that I will never give birth to a sinful alter ego, never again.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I am crying now, come out of your deep, dark corners Mask and hide my tears from the world. Come and smile for me, will you? It is another beautiful day.<br /></div><p></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><p align="left" style="text-align: justify;">Me.</p></div>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-6428095873551958432008-03-09T03:14:00.001-07:002008-03-09T03:18:15.671-07:00The Mask Speaks<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fJD5ggSF7HI/R9O5C4i2R2I/AAAAAAAAAAg/2u0DYDZhJHU/s1600-h/Mask.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5175683855968257890" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 125px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 167px" height="129" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fJD5ggSF7HI/R9O5C4i2R2I/AAAAAAAAAAg/2u0DYDZhJHU/s320/Mask.jpg" width="125" border="0" /></a> I am a mask, not a funny mask, not even a scary one, but just a mask. I can assume the shape you want me to assume, like I always do. I make you look happy or sad or whatever else your mind desires me to be. You found me at the back of the beyond corner of your soul all those years ago and I am glad you have been loyal to me ever since. You believe I am your true friend, you think I help you through the tough times and through the easy ones as well. <div></div><div> </div><div>You first put me on when you wanted to appear brave. Remember the scuffle outside the school gate, you were young and visibly scared then, weren’t you? Out comes the mask and makes you look brave and there, you discovered me. Remember the first time you wanted to look cool? What about the time you wanted to lie? You so wanted them to believe that you are so talented, so out of this world and out comes the mask and it does the dirty job for you. See, there, how loyal have I been to you.<br /><br />The numbing hallucination that masks do not have a life and a conscience was just that, a hallucination. You put me on so often that I gradually became a part of you, skin and flesh and all those zillion cells that constitute you. Your conscience started to become mine too, I could not help it. I started to acquire a form which was never known to me, I started to bleed every time you made me lie, every time you used me to use the others.<br /><br />I do not lie to you my friend, so I will agree that there were times when you wanted to remove me, see your true self, feel spiritual. But how could you do that to me and yourself? I was already a part of your skin by then, you would have had to peel yourself off bare in a world full of beautiful lies. I agree it is a painful thought. I know you hate pain, that’s why you discovered me in the first place. So you let me be, you thought I will wear off, fade off and then you will not have to worry, you will never have to explain.<br /><br />My friend, should I apologise for having more talents and skills then you ever had? You found me for free, I was ‘there’ and so you let me hang around. You used ‘my’ skills, ‘my’ talents to win people, fame and money. Did you ever not notice that all that you own now is mine? You even forgot how to be happy in life with all that I obtained and you started summoning me again and more to help you find happiness and I obliged.<br /><br />I like it when you talk to me; I am a friendly mask after all. I like it when you cry in front of me and hide behind me. You think people see you smile when I smile for you; I like it then because I can feel your tears satiating my skin. I asked nothing of you and you wanted to give me nothing but some where along the years of our one ness you forgot that you owed me everything that you had. I am a mask my friend, I can hold no emotions for ever, I can hold no guilt for ever. You ought to know, so forgive me today when I tell you that I possess you now, I hold you a prisoner since I need you as much as you needed me then. Forgive me, but I will live this life for you now, I will let you die when your time comes and then I will move on, there are many a young boys wanting to appear brave in front of the school gate.</div><div> </div><div>The Mask</div>Unspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384919212590031717.post-86593111413986393232008-03-09T03:01:00.000-07:002008-03-09T03:03:45.497-07:00The PrefaceDear Reader,<br />What you will read here onwards is nothing more then a dialogue. For as far back as I can remember, I have indulged in self conversations. I like talking to myself and that may be one of the reasons why I talk so less with you.<br /><br />In The Mask Diaries, I am the Mask and I am the Face as well. Somewhere along the years, the Mask became a part of me, it kept changing colours and yet remained with me; eventually becoming a natural extension of my face. The self conversations are my attempt to separate the Mask from the Face; to see them both as separate beings. I do not know what the end looks like, most of what I will write will be honest to the extent of being brutal; the remaining part will not matter in the larger scope of things.<br /><br />A lot of what I write is dark in colour or essence and you may find it hard to relate to it. But that is a luxury I am going to afford myself to, like I said, brutal honesty is the need of the hour.<br /><br />So read on, as far as you want to read. I will need your help too, in identifying and unravelling the conspicuously invisible masks; the ones that I may easily over look but yet are so vital that they must be spoken to.<br /><br />Thank you for volunteering.<br /><br />MeUnspokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159442907521631175noreply@blogger.com0